Tuesday, April 19, 2005
It is said that on this day, when Bahrania awoke at 7.36am, opening her eyes to a ball of white light, it was as if an angel was sent from heaven above to inform her that she must sacrifice her black leather saddle bag on the same day otherwise she would face the wrath of fashion connoisseurs worldwide. The time had come, the message had been received. With a new season, comes a new bag. The ultimate test of material obedience. The bag, beleagered from months upon months of heavy use across continents and seas, had to GO.
Friends, family and common folk gathered as Bahrania carefully removed the abundant items from her old bag. Thereupon she discovered deep at the bottom beneath the lining numerous items that have been missing for some time. Alas, she had at last discovered the explanation surrounding the mysterious increase in weight of this item holder. The bag had been swallowing up various valuable items that treasure-seekers, gold-diggers and explorers have been searching for. The bag had devised an intricate plan; smuggling the items through a tiny hole in the bottom corner and concealing them under the unbecoming lining, undetectable with the naked eye. She recovered 2 flash memory sticks, pens, lipsticks, coins, business cards, and the most valuable item of all, 2 sets of house keys. This cursed bag had caused the misery not just of Bahrania, but all those who were falsly accused of misplacing and even thieving these objects.
For never was a handbag so bestricken. You were her companion, at her side wherever she went, the protector of her belongings, the guardian of her possessions, her credit cards, her IDs, her makeup, her life! For never will freedom-loving women trust a handbag again after this day.
Another version of the story relates the curse back to the original time and place the bag was purchased. The immigrant seller who had pestered Bahrania, that late Autumn night as she wandered the cobbled streets of the Brera district in Milan, some say, may have used African Black magic to pass the curse onto the buyer. Fearing for her safety, she had unknowingly purchased the bag for a few euros if only to lose the trail of the seller, even though the unique design and elegant style had caught her attention in the first instance.
The ultimate fate of the handbag remains unknown. Some say, the bag lies in an unknown location somewhere near Bahrania's place of birth, others say Bahrania in that moment of rage had given it away to charity. We shall never know.